EASTMAN, George, inventor of the brownie camera and the most
expensive sport on earth. Ambition: The kodak fiend,
tourists. Address: Rochester and London. Clubs: Camera.
EDDY, Mrs., of Boston, Mass., U. S. A., a lady who made
millions by telling the world there was no such thing as the
toothache, sea-sickness, or hitting your thumb with a hammer.
EDISON, Thomas, an American who invented everything with the
exception of the sun dial, Pear's soap, and the Gillette razor.
EIFEL, a Frenchman who built the second tower of Babel, but who
was wise enough to stop before he got too high.
EIGHTH, Henry the, suitor, blue beard, and church builder. When
a young man he became a benedict, a condition in which he
remained until well along in years. As fast as a queen
appeared at the breakfast table with her hair down her back,
she was dispatched to the block. A couple of queens got ahead
of him. Was nearly as successful in obtaining divorces as
Napoleon, of France, and American millionaires. In his later
years he competed against the Pope in England. Ambition: A
harem. Recreation: Spooning. Dreams: Bad. Address:
ELGIN, Lord, the man who rolled the Elgin marbles from Greece
to the British Museum. Also had something to do with the
interior of watches.
ELIJAH, a prophet of old who was fond of ravens (not red).
Later he went somewhat out of his line, but succeeded as a
ELIZABETH, Queen, called "Bess" by Raleigh and the rest of the
boys. E. reigned when people did things. She was wooed and
lost by an Armada (see Philip II). She finally walked over
Raleigh's coat, and later wiped her feet on him. E. had a
sister by the name of Mary, who was better looking, and less
fortunate. E. was queen when the pipe was introduced into
England. Other and less important events of her reign were:
Shakespeare, Spenser, and Virginia. Died an old maid. Heir:
She did not have any.
ELLIOT, George, a lady who wore a man's name and wrote books.
EMANUEL II, Victor, the original of the statues in every town
of Italy; a king with ambitions, who was wise enough to entrust
his affairs to a brainier man, and was thus made famous (see
EMERSON, Ralph Waldo, American writer who inspired his readers
to conquer the world. Several have failed. Also advised the
practical theory of hitching your wagon to the stars. Lived
before the time of the taxi.
EPICURUS, an ancient who believed that pain was unpleasant and
that pleasure was good. His descendants live in expensive
hotels and eat only in high-class restaurants. Many suffer
with the gout. A popular cat foot was named in his honor.
ESAU, an ancient who sold his birthright for a mess of
ESTHER, Queen, a beautiful lady who triumphed over the villain
of the book, married the hero, and lived happily ever
EUCLID, an old Greek who made poor students read his book as
far back as 300 B. C. He discovered the phenomenon that the
shortest distance between two points is a crow's flight, and
that two parallel lines always compete.
EVE, see Mrs. Adam.
EYRE, Jane, an old maid school teacher, who married a rich
husband after the fashion of books.