FAGAN, the Hebrew benefactor of Oliver Twist, whose name did
not fit his religion.
FAHRENHEIT, inventor of an instrument which enables a person to
ascertain whether the weather is warm or cold.
FAILURE, T. H. E., a failure. Supposed to have idled away his
younger days. Believed to have dissipated. Said not to have
applied himself to school or business. Found fault with life
and everybody, but was never wrong himself. Unpopular. A
great blamer. A lover of revolvers, rivers, and the poor house.
Frequently seen in the under world. Ambition: The other
fellow. Recreation: Too much. Address: All large cities.
Clubs: None. Epitaph: Here Lies A Man Who Never Really
FALLIERES, Armand, occupied a prominent position in the French
government for seven years. One of the most distinguished of
the vast collection of ex-presidents now scattered over the
FALSTAFF, a celebrated drunk.
FASHION, Dame, heart breaker, bank account ruiner, and patron
saint of French shop-keepers. She went about the large stores
changing the cut of ladies' clothes and the shape of their
hats. Created some awful looking things. F. made the poor men
work very hard to keep up to her. Publications: Editor of all
Ladies' Magazines. Address: Paris, London, and New York City.
Epitaph: (Would that she had one.)
FAUST, chemist, traveler. A gay old man who fell in love
during his second young manhood, traveled in a warm country,
and sang his way to fame.
FAWES, Guy, a man who attempted to make an impression in
Parliament without introducing home rule or suffrage bills.
FINN, Huc, a bosom friend of Thomas Sawyer (see Tom).
FITZIMMONS, Robert, an obsolete fighter who wishes he could rub
the black spot from the ring.
FLETCHER, the inventor of chewing.
FLORADORA, an American chorus girl, who was some popular with
the men. She appeared in all large cities with the best looking
chorus that ever wore tights. F. created such a sensation that
every living actress of note is willing to be classified as a
former member of her company. Had a miserable cigar named after
her. Ambition: Revival. Grave: New York City. Epitaph:
There Were Not Many Like Flora.
FOGG, P., The man Jules Verne sent around the world in sixty
days for a big sale.
FOOL, A., a spendthrift lover. Fell in love with an
unintelligent woman and one who never could understand.
Followed his natural bents, even as you and I. Wasted several
years. Wept profusely. End unknown. Recreation: Vampires.
Epitaph: He Was Not The Only One.
FRANKLIN, Benjamin, one of the few Americans endowed with
brains. He discovered that lightning was composed of
electricity, that politics paid better than printing, and that
the French Court was more lively than the Continental Congress.
FRERES, Pathe, patron of the motion picture fanatics.
FRIEND, A., the scarcest thing on earth. A rare visitor, but
he came around a few times in a lifetime. F. was glad to know
of your success, pitied you in your failures, and shook you by
the hand when you were down and out. Never borrowed money, but
he frequently lent it. Was a wise counsellor. Very popular.
His name was frequently given the baby (see Mischief).
Ambition: The other fellow's welfare. Recreation: At the
other fellow's house. Address: The other fellow's house or
his own. Clubs: All.
FRITCHIE, Barbara, a Southern target. Sprang into poetry as
the only woman in the history of mankind who admitted her old
FULTON, Robert, inventor. Another brainy American who made a
fortune for the Cunard and White Star lines.