JACK, the man who kept company with Jill. Occupation: Water
carrier. Killed while at work. Ambition: An artesian well in
the valley. (See Jill.)
JACOB, birthright speculator, traveler, s. Isaac, and brother
of Esau. Was mother's pet. Became proficient as a character
impersonator, but never went on the stage. Left home suddenly.
Slept on a stone and had hard dreams. Later married, and was
responsible for Joseph and his brethren. (See Joe.)
JAEGER, Doctor Gustav, claimed his underwear kept him warm.
JAMES, Jesse, an American westerner who murdered, stole, and
appeared in paper novels for the benefit of the messenger boy,
the author, and the publisher.
JAMES, King, a Scotchman who was considered good enough to be
elected king of England.
JANOS, H., manufacturer of a popular beverage.
JAPHETH, third officer of the Ark.
JEFFERSON, Joe, a fine old memory.
JEFFREYS, James J., formerly a prize fighter, who carried his
gloves and bluff once too often to the ring. (See Johnson.)
JEKYLL, Doctor, a physician who took a dose of his own
JEW, Wandering, an ancient Hebrew who has been going over the
face of the earth for centuries, only stopping at the call of
such men as Eugene Sue and Lew Wallace.
JILL, Jack's girl. She was assisting her fiance when the
JOB, prehistoric millionaire who had his ups and downs. Like
all rich men, he had a good young manhood, saved his money, and
entered the market. Formed the camel trust and cornered the
real estate market. The market tumbled and so did J. Family
troubles also distressed him. His camels died of the colic or
were stolen. J. went broke. Even in hard luck he patronized
the temple, and believed while there was money it could be had.
Started in business again with a small capital, remarried, and
ended his days ahead of the game. Ambition: A chance at the
New York Stock market; death to his comforters. Recreation:
Sackcloth and ashes.
JOHNSON, John, called "Jack," one-time black champion
prize-fighter of the world, who learned that too much chicken,
automobile, and champagne made even a colored gentleman a
JOHNSON, Samuel, no relation of the above. Employed the
greatest press agent the world has ever seen, and was thus made
famous. Also wrote.
JONAH, traveler, whaler, and lucky dog. Became renowned for
taking a rough trip to sea. Was thrown overboard because he
was the jonah. Swam until he was tired, and finally made a
morsel for a fish. Tradition has it that J. was tough and
indigestible. He remained three days and three nights in the
interior of the whale, causing the animal considerable
annoyance when he exercised. Was later mal de mared, swam
ashore, and thanked his lucky stars for his indigestibility and
the illness of his rescuer. His story was published. Still
causes some comment. Tradition also says that J. never could
look a fish in the face after the harrowing incident.
Ambition: Dry land. Recreation: Mountain climbing. Address:
Sodom. Clubs: Alpine.
JONATHAN, a man who loved King David more than a successor.
JONES, John, made a fortune for Europe by inventing the picture
JONES, John Paul, an American admiral who scared England, and
was only prevented from capturing London by the unimportance of
JOSEPH, a Hebrew-Egyptian politician. Born in Judea. When a
young man he became his father's favorite, while his brethren
had to do the heavy work. Wore a loud coat. This aroused the
ire of his brethren, resulting in Joe being sold as a slave,
and in the coat being sent to the cleaners. J. journeyed to
Egypt, where he refused to elope with the Pharaohess. Her
husband, the Pharaoh, out of gratitude, put J. in prison, and
afterward made him the royal butler. Years passed. A famine
occurred in Judea. Joe's brethren came down to Egypt to lay in
provisions. There they were confronted by the coatless Joe,
who thanked them for the good luck they had thrust upon him.
JOSEPHINE, only one of that great multitude of women who
carried a heart which was broken by the ambitions of a man.
JUDY, Mrs. Punch, but usually unconventionally called by her
first name. She suffered considerable annoyance at the hands of
her husband, although she frequently hen-pecked him. Went on
the puppet stage for a few hundred years, displaying her
JULIET, a celebrated sweetheart who permitted her lover to make
love on a balcony. Her history was written by one Shakespeare,
and had a splendid sale. (See Romeo.)
JUPITER, boss of the ancient gods, father of most of them, and
a regular Frenchman. Ambition: To run everything. Recreation:
Killing giants, disguising himself as a swan, etc. Address:
JUSTICE, only a mythological character whose statue has been
frequently erected. She had eye trouble. In the United States
J. carried scales with a small statue of politics in one pan,
and money in the other. Her statues in other countries are said
to be different, although occasionally the little statues are
found in the pans.