LACHAISE, Pere, confessor of Louis XIV for thirty-four years.
He was such an attentive listener and heard so much that the
leading cemetery in Paris was named in his honor.
LAMB, Charles, one of those immortals who forgot his life of
tears to place smiles on paper.
LANGTRY, Mrs., the Sarah Bernhardt of England less considerable
talent. Ambition: Those old time lovers.
LAOCOON, a Trojan priest who suffered with delirium tremens.
Together with his sons he posed for his statue while encumbered
with a bad attack. Address: Vatican, Rome.
LAURIE, Annie, of Maxwelton. The only woman in history who had
a brow like a snowdrift. Also the only good-looking lassie in
Scotland to whom Burns did not write a few poems. L. was
engaged to be married; no record of the ceremony can be found.
LAW, Andres Bonar, a Scotchman who gave up the iron business to
become a mere member of Parliament. Is said to have spoken on
Irish questions. Ambition: (?). Recreation: Travel, except
in the south of Ireland. Address: Parliament. This will
probably hold good for several editions of Who Was Who. Clubs:
Conservative, of course.
LAW, Mother-in-, no relation of the above. A much-abused
ancient whose life and story has been written by malicious
biographers. In reality L. was a kind soul who invited us to
dinner, permitted the gas to be turned down, and always knocked
before she came into the room. Later she wiped the dishes,
took care of her grandchild (see Baby), helped pay the bills,
and told the neighbors what a fine son-in-law she had.
Ambition: Daughter. Recreation: Our house. Address: Our
house most of the time. Clubs: Suffrage.
 Ed. Note: The editor will not be held responsible for the
accuracy of the above.
LAWSON, Thomas W., just a squeeler.
LEDA, see mythology books, paintings, and statuary. Also
Jupiter, Castor, and Pollux.
LEE and PERKINS, discoverers of Worcestershire sauce and royal
saucerers to the king.
LEHAR, Frank, the man who assisted the Merry Widow to make her
debut. Also was the press agent for Mr. Maxim, of Paris.
Ambition: To find another widow.
LEONORE, became famous because she had a lover who left her
with a good song.
LEOPOLD, King, of the Congo and Belgium. Has not been dead
long enough for historians to make him famous. Ambition:
Song, women, and wine. Recreation: Wine, women, and song.
Address: Several in Brussels. Epitaph: Quantum Mutatus Ab
LIBERTY, a huge lady who guards New York harbor, and welcomes
Italy and Poland to the United States.
LIMBURGER, of Germany. Manufacturer of a self-advertising
LIPTON, Sir Thomas, a knighted Irishman who advertised tea with
Shamrocks, and one of the men of his race who did not enter
politics or the police force. Ambition: That cup.
LISZT, Frank, a piano player who wore long hair, wrote music,
and played the piano.
LLOYD, the man who will insure anything except the prospects
for the sale of this book.
LORELEI, said to be a beautiful German lady who always hides
herself when the tourist goes down the Rhine.
LOT, Mrs. Lot's husband.
LOT, Mrs., the only woman who had an inquisitiveness which
became practical. She also was considered one of the salt of
LOUIS I, 778-840, called the Debonnaire. Introduced cafe's
into France. Put the "is" in Paris.
LOUIS II, 846-879. Introduced chorus girls into France. Patron
LOUIS III, 882-936. Introduced champagne into France.
Continued the works of his predecessors.
LOUIS IV, 936-954. Introduced high heels. Continued the work
of his predecessors.
LOUIS V, 966-987. Introduced absinthe.
LOUIS VI, 1106-1137. Enlarged the works of his ancestors.
Started pre-tango dancing.
LOUIS VII, 1137-1180. Fought Germany. Inaugurated the French
LOUIS VIII, 1187-1196. Introduced the words "a la" and
dressmakers into Paris.
LOUIS IX, called the saint, 1215-1263. Was a good Louis.
Fought the Turks and was taken prisoner. His subjects thought
7,000,000 francs worth of him. Was awarded his halo for work
in the Crusades. Not a patron of his ancestors. Very
unpopular in Paris.
LOUIS X, 1289-1316. Reopened cafe's. Introduced the taxicab.
LOUIS XI, 1423-1483. Fought England, and died too soon to hear
of the discovery of the United States.
LOUIS XII, 1462-1515. Was king when the United States were
LOUIS XIII, 1601-1643. Permitted Cardinal Richelieu to king for
him. Was a patron of cafe's, champagne, and Paris in general.
LOUIS XIV, called the Grand, 1638-1715. Furniture builder,
salon decorator, wig maker, and constructor. Also assisted
Paris in acquiring her reputation. Built Versailles, the
Louvre, and Napoleon's tomb. He was the man who captured
Alsace-Lorraine from Germany. (See Napoleon III.) Motto: I am
the state. Ambition: Strauss waltzes at Versailles.
Recreation: Dancing and attending to affairs of state.
LOUIS XV, 1710-1774, called a Bird. He lived during the reigns
of Queens Pompadour and Du-Barry.
LOUIS XVI, 1754-1793. A Louis who continued the traditions of
his ancestors, but--. Married Marie Antoinette. Introduced the
turkey trot and the salome dance at Versailles. While his
subjects were starving he ate pate de foies gras. They objected
and carried his White Wigginess to Paris, where he ended his
reign. Ambition: To have been any one of his ancestors, even
No. 9. Recreation: Short walks in the jail yard. Address:
Not permitted to receive letters. Epitaph: Easy Falls The Head
Which Wore A Crown.
LOUIS XVII, 1785-1795. The only Louis who did not live long
enough to have the good times of his ancestors, and the only
Louis for whom the world has a word of sympathy.
LOUIS XVIII, 1775-1824, called the Last. He was the Louis who
got back on the job after the dizziness of the Revolution and
Napoleon had subsided.
LOVER, T. H. E., conqueror of worlds, architect of castles,
lunatic, and saint. Spent early days only in living. In young
manhood he met Her. From that moment all other hers he had
known became lemons. L. was an expert prevaricator. Polished
shoes, dressed neatly, shaved every day, and never ate onions.
Spent evenings at Her house. Detested gas or electric lights.
Was fond of the fireplace and hands. Quarreled occasionally.
Spent salary for theatre tickets, candy, and flowers. Walked
on air. Had a terrible time keeping away from his friends who
wanted him to have a good time. One night Her looked
wonderfully beautiful. L. said some things. He could not keep
quiet. Her blushed, permitted him to sit closer, and then told
L. he was the dearest, sweetest, finest, biggest, noblest,
bravest lovey in the wide, wide world. Later L. secured an
embarrassing interview and visited a jewelry store. Diet:
Poor. Ambition: A mother-in-law. Address: Her home. Clubs:
None. Epitaph: For Men May Come and Men May Go.
LUTHER, Martin, a German who started competition.