McGINTY, a celebrated Irish diver.
McGRAW, John J., Manager of the New York Baseball organization,
frequently used by the Philadelphia Athletics to gain the
MACBETH, Lady, a royal somnambulist.
MACKINTOSH, discoverer of a method of keeping dry outside on a
MAGELLAN, the man who got into straits and straights.
MAN, Sand, an old fellow who visits houses blessed with a
child. Only calls after supper. Tells the little one he has
played enough for the day, and sprinkles some sand in his eyes.
When M. departs the little bundle is asleep in the nursery or
all cuddled up in Mother's lap. Ambition: Sand for the older
MANUEL, King, of England, and late of Portugal. Introduced
Parisian life into Lisbon. Was a very sweet and very wise
young man. Overlooked the fact that a king may rule a nation,
but frequently is a poor press agent. Became incensed at his
army and subjects. Moved in haste. Ambition: Lisbon and a
dancing queen. Recreation: Watch bill-boards. Address: Watch
bill-boards. Clubs: Down and Out. Epitaph: A Manuel And His
Kingdom Are Soon Parted.
MARAT, one of the fathers of the French Revolution, who could
rule a city, but not a woman.
MARCEL, Madame, of France. Discovered a good excuse for women
to gaze in mirrors. Also caused heartfailure on a rainy day.
MARCONI, Guglielmo, the man who made the inventors of telegraph
poles and wires look foolish. His inventions have made it
possible for New York stock brokers to continue their business
while journeying to Paris.
MARINER, A., traveler, albatross raiser. Gathered fame by
making a voyage with some dead ones. His feat has frequently
been duplicated on liners out of the regular tourist season.
MARK, Saint, of Venice. Guarded the pigeons of his square and
the tourist who dwelt within his canals.
MARTINI, manufacturer of an American before-dinner drink which
tastes too good.
MARY, a young girl who was presented with a famous lamb. Seldom
was seen without the animal. Conveyed it to school with her
one day, thus causing considerable mirth among the pupils. Was
severely reprimanded by the teacher, as it was against the
regulations of the institution to permit animals, other than
the children, in the class-rooms. M. returned the lamb to the
stable. Her biography has been extensively published.
MATERLINCK, a Belgian who believed the best way to get "copy"
about himself into the newspapers was to try to keep it out.
Recreation: Bluebird raising.
MAXIM, patron saint of the American-English tourist in Paris,
who introduced New York prices into a naughty cafe. When a
young man he discovered that the tourists were not paying
enough money to see the sights. With the assistance of some
handsomely gowned women he opened a cafe on the Rue Royal where
they could. For years it was patronized by his countrymen
until they were ruined. Later only royalty and tourists were
permitted to enter and form a mistaken idea of the real French
cafe, pay double prices for everything, see a few chorus girls,
hear champagne bottles, and talk to English-speaking waiters.
Ambition: Americans. Recreation: Staying at home. Press
Agent: The Merry Widow and the Girl from Maxims. Epitaph:
Honi Soit Qui Mal y Pense.
MAXIM, no relation of the above, as he only manufactured things
to kill people, and not to financially ruin them.
MEDICI, Katie, an Italian French woman whose past was uncovered
by those historians. Was fond of poison, but did not care for
Methodists or Presbyterians.
MEDUSA, a celebrated ancient who had the delirium tremens in an
MELLIN, he was the man who tried to cheat the baby out of the
MENDELSSOHN, wrote a tune which is usually played when a man
goes to his fate.
MENNEN, the manufacturer of a baby and good complexion
perquisite. Nothing like it for your face after shaving. His
picture has been widely distributed, but never admired.
MERCURY, errand boy for the gods. Wore a pair of winged feet
and feathers in his hat. Was also an artist's model.
Ambition: A telegraph. Recreation: Same as the gods.
Address: General delivery.
METHUSELAH, an ancient who was not like one in a thousand.
MICHEL, Saint, he kicked the devil out of paradise, and was
instantly made the patron saint of France.
MIKE, Pat's partner (see Pat).
MILTON, John, wrote a Dante book, the title of which is known
by everybody and the contents by few.
MOET and CHANDON, two competitors of Mr. Mumm who did much to
bring the price of champagne to within the reach of
MOHAMMED, inventor of the harem, and the man who introduced
mormonism into Arabia. (See B. Young.) Also manufactured
crescents, religion, and made Mecca the mecca for everything.
Early life spent in business. This did not pay. He then
married a widow and retired. Took up religion as a hobby.
Became a professional. Found the sword was mightier than his
kin. His salvation army was successful. His prisoners were
given the alternative of a finely tempered, beauti-fully inlaid
damascus blade or Islam. They always became fervently
religious. Later M. embarked on a marrying campaign with equal
success. Publications: The Koran, a treatise on everything.
Ambition: The crescent on every flag. Recreation: Walking
toward mountains; stroking his beard. Address: 23 Blvd. Allah,
Mecca, Arabia. Epitaph: A Man's Works Take After Him.
MOLIERE, Jean B. P., a French author who wrote a few plays we
do not have to see alone.
MONROE, James, the founder of a doctrine, the practicability of
which nations desire to learn, and yet do not wish to make the
MORSE, Samuel G., an inventor who might have used his talents
in other lines had Marconi lived before his time.
MOSES, whose whereabouts in the dark has puzzled all
generations. Born in the bullrushes of Egypt. Entered politics
as the son of Pharaoh's daughter and the leader of the Ghetto.
When M. waxed astute, after the manner of his people, he
discovered there were not sufficient shekels for himself and
countrymen in the land of Egypt. He pleaded and plagued the
king for permission to close the pawn shops and clothing
stores. Now in those days the children of Egypt were wont to
patronize the bazaars of the children of the Chosen, and
Pharaoh was wroth within himself and refused the passports. The
brave rabbi closed the kosher meat stores and took ship's
leave. Adopting an original compass, he made forced marches to
the Red Sea. Here the synagogue was overtaken by Pharaoh and
his army. M. spilled the sea on them and marched on. From this
time the journey to the Promised Land was slow. Whether this
was due to good business or sore feet history does not relate.
M. later climbed a mountain and received the ten commandments.
After breaking them he returned to camp. He died before the
journey was complete. Publications: Histories. Ambition: A
railroad from Cairo to Jerusalem. Recreation: Tennis and
camel racing. Also enjoyed tent life. Address: Care of Jewish
MOSES, Holy, no relation of the above. He was the fellow who
came around when you hit your finger with the hammer.
MULLER, Maud, one of the few country girls who never went to
New York City.
MUMM, the man who made the most expensive drink on earth.
The products of his cellars are frequently purchased by persons
who cannot afford them. They form one of the principal
ingredients of a good time (see Paris).
 Ed. Note: The editor is personally responsible for the
above stated facts.
MUNCHAUSEN, Baron, traveler, explorer. While many of his
books, lectures, and newspaper interviews have been questioned
by scientific men, he is held in high regard due to his failure
to claim the discovery of the north pole.
MUNYON, Doctor, an American herb doctor and optimist. Held the
theory that while there was life there was a chance to sell
some of his medicine.
MURPHY, Charles J. See What's Who of New York City.