TAFT, William Howard, a former fat, and last Republican,
president of the United States who worshipped the trusts, the
Constitution, the Supreme Court, and Theodore Roosevelt. The
love he bore the latter resulted in his election. The two
brothers quarreled because Bill would not step aside and let
Teddy run things all over again. The two brothers fought and
another ran away with the election. Principal events during
T.'s administration: Roosevelt's trip, The Outlook, Oyster Bay,
Standard Oil, That election. Ambition: 1916. Recreation:
Golf, messages to Congress. Address: Cincinnati, O. Epitaph:
How Sharper Than A Serpent's Tooth It Is To Have A Thankless
TANGLEFOOT, he was the man who first stuck flies on flypaper.
TANGUWAY, Eva, an actress who did not care even if those on the
front row did.
TENNYSON, Lord, an English poet who turned a perpetual light on
a charging brigade.
TERRY, Ellen, a dear old lady whom the world wishes the
footlights might always shine upon and upon whom the curtain
would never descend.
THAW, Harry K., famous lawyer endower. Entered life as the
rich son of a wealthy father. Became interested in the stage
at an early age, but only got as far as the chorus. Later
performed on a New York roof garden. Alienists say he was the
sanest crazy man and the craziest sane man who ever lived.
Also obtained some publicity by expensive exploring in Canada
and New Hampshire. Ambition: Wreaths for Jerome. Recreation:
Straightening jackets. Address: See this morning's paper.
THEMISTOCLES, a Greek warrior who fought, but did not run a
THIRD, Richard the, a king of England who showed how much he
thought of the country by offering to exchange it for any kind
of a horse.
THUMB, Thomas, a white pygmy who enriched himself through his
misfortunes and the curiosity of the world.
TIBERIUS, just a Roman emperor who fitted the job.
TIFFANY, of New York City, London, and Paris. Introduced
high prices into the jewelry business. Greatly admired by
fiance's and millionaires. Has gained considerable fame, as
his products will pawn on a good margin. Ambition: A man in
 Ed. Note: This is not an advertisement, as the editor is
not an actress.
TIME, Father, a very old man who has been introduced to
everybody. Very unpopular with the ladies. A great wound and
sorrow healer, but unkind to the old. He went about the world
changing babies into men and women, and placing gray hair and
wrinkles where they were never wanted. Author: Of tears.
Recreation: Reaping. Address: Your home. Epitaph: Ad Finem.
TINTORETTO, a Venetian painting manufacturer. Together with P.
P. Rubens he held the record for covering canvas and wearing
out brushes. Recreation: He never had any.
TITIAN, another painter of Venice. His works have always been
popular with the men. They are exhibited in all European
galleries, and cause consternation among clergymen and school
teachers. T. certainly could paint. Ambition: Models.
TOLSTOY, a voice out of the dark.
TOM. (See Richard and Harry.)
TOM, Uncle, an old negro actor who appeared in every city,
town, village, and hamlet in the United States north of the
Confederate States. His history was written by Mrs. H. B.
Stowe, and was the match which kindled the Civil War. The
Northerners have since learned that all negroes are not Uncle
Toms, and are wondering whether any mistakes were made back in
TOURISTS, T. H. E., a man and woman who carried a camera,
bought post-cards, read Baedekers, visited Cook's office, rode
in carriages, and then told their friends all about the trip.
Ambition: Just one look at everything. Address: Principally
Europe. Epitaph: They Came, They Saw, They Vanished.
TROY, Helen of, a peach of a girl who eloped with a man and
caused the longest siege in history to make her elope back
TURNER, J. M. W., an English painter whose paint exploded on
TWAIN, Mark, an American who wore long white hair, made
after-dinner speeches, received university degrees, and made
See another Mark Twain Biography here Mark Twain: An Illustrated Biography
TWINS, Siamese, two men who were closer than brothers.
TWIST, Oliver, one of those unfortunates whose history had to
be divulged for the financial gain of a great writer and many