WAGNER, Dick, a Dutchman who wrote a few sheets of music, went
into the opera business, but died before the good singers or
Hammerstein prices appeared.
WALKER, Johnnie, 1820. Spent most of his life at your favorite
bar until you appeared.
WALTON, Isaac, he was the fellow who started those awful fish
WASHINGTON, George, child model, father, etc. Spent early days
chopping trees, holding conversations with his father, killing
Indians, and being brave. Later he drove those tea-selling
Englishmen from the United States, said farewell to his troops,
and became a politician. W. decided he was not good enough for
a third term and retired. His picture has been widely
distributed. Ambition: To be the happy father of a big Uncle
Sam. Recreation: Powdering his wig. Address: Washington.
WASHINGTON, Booker T., only a distant relation of the above. A
big black man who went about the country raising money to put
brains into ivory. He also told his audience how unfortunate
they were in not being coons. (See Uncle Tom.)
WATSON, Doctor. He boswelled Sherlock Holmes.
WEBSTER, Dan., an American statesman and a member of Congress
before the invention of investigating committees. He died
WEBSTER, Noah, speller, writer, reference-book maker, and
language itemizer. W. was the man to whom Mark Twain paid a
glowing tribute by saying he was a great writer, but his
stories were too short.
WELLINGTON, Duke of, an Englishman who taught a great French
general to say "Tout est perdu." He later taught England that
many a good soldier makes a poor politician.
WHITEHEAD, of Fiume, Austria. Mission in life was to reduce
the size of dreadnaughts.
WHITTINGTON, Richard, proprietor of a celebrated back-fence
WIDOW, Merry, a dream who hung around Mr. Maxim's restaurant in
Paris, made love to nobility, toured the world, and finally
died. Death was caused by overexertion. Before the war she
was engaged to a Balkan prince. W. visited New York, London,
and Paris. Everybody fell in love with her and whistled her
praises. Past: (?) Press Agent: Frank Lehar. Ambition:
Millionaires. Recreation: After 11.45 P. M. Epitaph: When
Will There Be Another Like Her?
WIGGS, Mrs., a woman who successfully advertised cabbages.
WILLIAMS. He was the man who ruined the shaving-mug business.
WILSON, Puddin' Head, a young lawyer who was fathered by Mark
Twain. No relation to the following.
WILSON, Woodrow, one time president of an American football,
educational institution, who outgrew his job. He moved up to
be governor, made a few cure-all speeches, introduced Roosevelt
to Bryan, changed his address to Washington. Took out a
watchful, waiting policy. Is now in Who's Who, but whether he
will remain in that publication or this one cannot be
determined at the time of going to press. Ambition: To keep
Roosevelt and Bryan running. Recreation: Teaching, Browning,
other brain exercises, thinking, Congress. Address:
Washington, care Joseph Tumulty. Clubs: Pedagogue, Mexican.
WINSLOW, Mrs., known over the world as the lady who soothes the
baby's little tummie.
WONDERLAND, Alice of, traveless discoveress. Made a lady of
the Royal Geographical Society. She was a great favorite of
the children and many grown ups. She always will remain a
WOOLSEY, Cardinal, a churchman who combined politics with his
profession, became wealthy, unfortunate, and was finally
written up by Shakespeare.
WRIGHT, Orville, one of the inventors of the aeroplane who
knows the inside of the business, and believes one life on the
ground is worth two in the air.